Make Your Move and Shake Your Ass: My Four Days with Tony. Tomorrow.

“I am not a product of my circumstances,  I am a product of my decisions”

-Stephen Covey

I hopefully will never know the feeling of being incarcerated for any extended length of time and then being “freed” into the masses.  Even though, there has been the occasion where I thought:

“You know, other than avoiding rape and get shanked; You get fed, workout, read, sleep.  No bills to stress over, no relationships to deal with. Well, unless of course, you’re somebodies bitch.  And let’s just call it like it is; I’m 5’6, 155lbs, and white.  I don’t know if they like lean little guys, but if so,  I’m a high draft pick.”

Point being, when you leave this world of nothing but positive, high octane, on Crack energy that you’ve come to absolutely adore and call home for the past four days and nights;  You’re not only coming back into the masses that is the hypersensitive year 2016 but, the masses that is still are wondering what the fuck?


But you’re doing it with that chest bowed out like you have the tits of Sofia Vergara.


The President-Elect would say they are great because they’re the best.

Have you seen House of Cards?  There was this scene where Frank and his wife and their…If you’ve seen the show, you know where I’m going.  It was instantly followed by a hot and sexy as hell scene on the opposite end of the spectrum. Seeing the images of these two about felt like that.


Speaking of complete opposites, that is what it’s like to leave jail as compared to Tony Robbins, nonetheless, your apprehensions are possibly very similar.

How do you behave?

Should I talk all about it? Because God knows it’s all I want to do.

Do I book my next one?  I don’t want this feeling to go away and if I have another to look forward to, it will keep me positive knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Do I go full force after what I want?  Break out of my restrictions? Break out of my comfort zone and truly just say “fuck it”, let’s do this?

Fascinated by the mind of the entrepreneur.  The person that believes they are their own boss. Also making them ultimately responsible for whether they succeed or fail.  No one else.

That’s courage.

Many only give credit, and justifiably so, to those that put their lives on the line, literally, whether in the Military or Emergency Services.  However, the entrepreneur takes an economic gamble that could leave them on food stamps. But, it also creates the opportunity to provide them, and their family,  with fortunes beyond their beliefs.     Sounds like the lottery, ya?  You can’t win if you don’t play, right?  But here is the one thing that they can do that someone that plays the lottery can’t do:

Work harder, work smarter.  When you leave, are you motivated? Yes.  Are you inspired? Yes.  But, going to one of these things is like being exceptional at practice.  You could be a stud Mon-Fri.  But when it’s game day, if you shrink in the moment, well, what good are you.  Same to be said here.  I could have made peace with aspects of my past, created a plan for my future, and learned how to take action in my present to make it all a possibility. But if I went back to my old habits as soon as landed in NY?  I essentially went to a four-day music festival.

When you leave, you’re leaving an atmosphere that is totally devoted for those attending to not only be entertained but, changed!  Think about that.  Those in attendance, some paying thousands to do so.  Some flying 18 hours like a man I met from Amsterdam.  Some flying cross country and living off protein bars and salt and vinegar almonds.  What they all wanted to do was have the knowledge, the tools, and the courage to make a drastic change in their life.  All of us think that something is missing, that we are kind of looking for our purpose, our mission in life. But it’s this:

Is Curly waiting for you in the form of Tony Robbins to tell you just that?  In a way.  Since I don’t feel like bringing a herd of cattle to their slaughter to try to discover my true purpose; This has to do.  Essentially, what you find out is that you just have to let go.

Let go of a past that does not pre-determine your future.  Just because it’s your past doesn’t mean it’s your destiny.  Let go of the future that may or may not happen.  It’s life, ONE THING can happen in a heartbeat and it all will change forever.  It could be for the good, the great, or the catastrophic, but it doesn’t mean you have you live life that way.  It means you GET to live life that way.

The world is filled with  stories of cancer patients that wish they knew this was going to happen to them decades ago. Why?  The time they truly lived life, was when they found out they were going to die.

Remember that list of 7 areas of life? Physical Body, Finances, Career/work, Contribution, etc.  (I write etc. because I can’t remember the last two and am too lazy and too focused to get up and look)  When you leave UPW, you MUST figure out a way to go after the one you want the most.  For me, and even if you’re my colleague or client, you won’t be shocked when you read this, it’s my career.

So, did I take action when I got back? Essentially,  does Tony Robbins work?

In chronological order. 1) Set up an appointment to get my student film, oh look, here it is again!


Anyway, like I was saying, I had to get it prepared to be submitted to film festivals.  A process that took a lot more time and effort one would think, but a major step.

Second, I needed a coach.  We saw earlier how remarkably expensive the Robbins Research life coaches were.  Truthfully, I didn’t think I needed one.  What I wanted was someone in the profession of screenwriting.  My mother came through clutch on this.  She bought me the Screenwriters Bible by Dave Trottier for my most recent birthday. A moment that brought me to tears.  How this simple gesture showed that my mother believed in her son and his dream.  So, who did I contact to be my writing coach? Dave Trottier.  Had our session and it was spectacular.  Keep your eyes peeled for when I get nominated for an Oscar.

My mother obviously had to be thanked for that, right?


She needed to be thanked for much more than that.  She needed to be thanked for all the sacrifices, all the chances she took, and everything she did, to the best of her knowledge, abilities. I put that woman through hell and back and though she hated me at moments, and I hated her, she never stopped loving me with every ounce of being. And I love that woman more than any woman on Earth.

And I also  had to thank my dad.

This phone call was slightly tougher.  It required the moment of:

Do your move: “YES!”

Say yes: “YES!

Say yes: “YES!!!”

And then I called.  I honestly don’t know if I did that before, but when we were done, I definitely wiped my feet and celebrated!

That call belongs to us.

The last thing I did, I wrote a six-part blog about the most personal thing I’ve ever been through.  I would have never done this prior to the event, and I thank you with all of my overjoyed heart for reading this!

I made the decision that I MUST do it, and then gained LEVERAGE by posting that I was going to write six of these.  It got a little tiresome, a little too deep, but at the time, it was all about the will to allow myself to be scrutinized.  Many don’t know that is probably the writers number one fear.  That people won’t like it.  You know what I think of that:


Let’s see you fly cross country, get no sleep, walk on coals, have your tongue, stomach, and ass decimated by protein bars and almonds  Hug and massage Lou, cry like your a kid and someone just broke your Optimus Prime, dance to Hits Volume 112, talk to complete strangers about why dad didn’t love you enough, listen to people tell you why their dad didn’t love them enough, clap until your hands were bruised, worry about falling down a flight of concrete steps in front of thousands, lose your voice four days in a row that made you sound like a transvestite doing an impersonation of Demi Moore,  and then deal with Uber!  Then when you get back, you share all of this while annoying God knows how many on social media with your “look at me, look at me” posts.

And you know what?

If you walked through my door right now with a ticket to Unleash the Power Within North Korea, a plane ticket sitting bitch the entire way, a bag full of salt and vinegar almonds and said we have to leave right now  with only the clothes on your back.  I’d say:

I’ll drive!


Thank you all!

PS: I’ve also signed up with Date with Destiny in Florida, December 2017, and keep your eyes peeled for Unleash the Power Within, NEW YORK!  July 2017.

Dedicated to the Memories of

Quido and Emma Notte.

Joshua “Rocco” Thompson.


For anyone looking for information about the event or anything to do with Tony Robbins, please call:  Angel McDonnell at 858-535-6287. Or email her at

Please be sure to  tell her that I sent you.

Thank you and be sure to subscribe to find out when my next blog is posted



Make Your Move and Shake Your Ass: My Four Days with Tony. Day Four, Life Will Never Be The Same

Authors Note:  This will be the shortest of all blogs.  You’re welcome.

Oh how different you feel.  What I didn’t include about Day 3, is how high my chest was after the “Dickens Process” and I know I wasn’t alone.

2MM.  Life is nothing but 2mm.

And don’t be stupid, I don’t mean the candy.

It didn’t matter if I woke up on Sunday to protein and almond alarm, or gun shots outside of my room.  You look in the mirror differently. You give a hard look at that person staring back and a smile comes across both of your faces.  Like you see someone you haven’t seen in a long time that you had the biggest crush on.  But you were just afraid to say something in case they let you down.  Now, now you’re ready to put a ring on it!

Which is hard for me because I did get a divorce.  The next marriage is my last marriage.  And you know who says that more than any other human on this planet?  People going on their 3rd marriage.

Nonetheless, you knew everyone did too.  And today was a day full of that, and youtube videos of Tony.  The star of the day was decompression.  And every single product that the Robbins Research Institute had to sell. And that’s okay.  I swear at one point there was a product pitch within a product pitch.  Again, that’s okay.  Not only is Tony a beyond phenomenal public speaker, the fella knows how to market himself.  Remember those big tooth informercials interrupting my me time?  Well, the guy knew market saturation.  And his product was him.  Well, we got a whole day of it, but we also got Wim Hof.


Walking around was almost hysterical how everyone was just smiling at each other.  And if everyone wasn’t, you searched out another smile, locked eyes and just threw them one back.  You ever buy a new car and notice afterward how many others have your car?  Well, same thing but not so ego driven.  If they had a bracelet and a smile, when you locked eyes you knew they knew something too, and it felt friggen fantastic!

True story: I’m on the phone with my mother and talking about when I was coming back.  Told her the next day and when I get home after flying all day, I had to be up first thing in the morning to go to the dentist.  My attitude and I literally said it aloud:

“Which is cool because my mouth needs to be cleaned, so I have that to look forward to.”

A very not ugly lady turned and looked at me like I was absolutely awesome.

At least that is what I thought.  And I’m going to go with it.

Loaded up on some actually healthy food (Truth be told, they did have decent healthyish food to choose from at the SAP)  And BIG PROPS to the those at the locations that would fill your water. Especially that one right next to the water fountain.  Once loaded up, headed in.

Me to Security:  “Good morning, thank you for everything you guys are doing”

I’m not, by any stretch trying to sound awesome, it just is coming out that way, I swear.

Met up with a hippieish kid and decided we were going to head to the same section I was last night.  Which, it was pretty cool because you do see smiling faces of friends now.  Sad that this was the end. But it was the beginning and a lot of us knew that.

Now, like I alluded to earlier, this day was nothing but sales.  It started with a voluntary Business Mastery tease with Mike Melio.  Mikey came out two nights prior to tell his difficult journey to prosperity and happiness.  Afterward, they tried to sell you on one of Tony’s other live events.  On this day, it was about an hour and a half of him giving you an outline and tease of the type of information you could get about your business at said event.  It was good, one thing I learned about any entrepreneur or even an autonomous salesperson; be an expert of whatever you are selling.  And use social media and your website to convey that message.  Along with radio!!!  I work for one of these mediums, can you figure out which one?

Joseph followed shortly after and for the remainder of the day we had brief moments of Joe, a guy from Egoscue (Tony Horton fans know what that is) to do some physical stretches.  Joe even gave me the chance to slap a gorgeous 20 something on the ass.

And you’re goddamn right I did.

But the majority of the day was spent watching videos of Tony at another seminar talking about health.  Did it come across as somewhat lame?  Informative? Yes.  Am I using any of the information that was provided? Yes. I stopped eating red meat of any kind and any poultry. Never much of a pork eater, though. Why?

To answer the original question; was it lame?  It was Tony on a screen and the room was still pretty damn cold.  I wasn’t complaining, but I wasn’t nearly as invested as I was the night before.  Unless someone was on stage, and that someone was Wim Hof.

Instead of me going through who Wim Hof is, I will just pass this along for you to judge for yourself.

Wim had us doing a horse stance breathing exercise.  All I know, is that I ran a 5k distance that morning and had been on my feet,  a lot, for the previous 3 days.  My legs didn’t get tired and we held that stance for a good amount of time.  The next thing we learned was how to hold our breath to strengthen our immune system.  I will just say that the third time through, I was at least at 2 minutes with my breath held.  It was pretty crazy.  And like that, he was gone.

There were products being pitched with lessons attached.  Primarily about Alkalinity.  If you are a part of Team Beachbody, a lot of what he was teaching was already known.  Especially if you did the Ultimate Reset.  Which I do at least once a year to clean my system.  If interested (like how I did that?) feel free to look into it via:

By this point of the night, the crowd was 1/3rd the size.  People were tired.  But for those that stayed, well, Joseph sent us off perfectly.

Thank you, Joseph, for being the perfect Robin!

And yes, I made sure to find my Angel (had to) and say thank you for being placed on Earth for me to find at the exact right moment.

To cap off the event, Uber was simple!  My God!

And what happened when I got back to my hotel?  I had dinner with a phenomenal young lady.

Thank you, San Jose!

Thank you, to the entire crew!

Ah hell with it, thank you, Uber!

Now the question to ask is:

Did it work?

One more blog to go and I will have some kickass news too!

For anyone looking for information about the event or anything to do with Tony Robbins, please call:  Angel McDonnell at 858-535-6287. Or email her at

Please be sure to  tell her that I sent you.

Thank you and be sure to subscribe to find out when my next blog is posted


Make Your Move and Shake Your Ass, My Four Days with Tony: Day 3, SET A NEW STANDARD!

Authors Note:  Even though I have shared many personal moments throughout these blogs, this post in particular, will have some moments of ambiguity.  There are moments from this day that belong to me and only me.  If you were there, you will completely understand.  If you weren’t, hopefully someday you will and it will be because of what you’re about to readThank you and enjoy. 

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

-Mark Twain

Think back to days that forever changed your life.  When you awoke, did you know it would be that day?  Despite being forewarned multiple times the day before by Angel, my life was about to change and how did it kick off?

Goddamn protein bars and almonds!

Saturday morning I awoke after getting a whole 5 hours of sleep.  Other than Angel also informing me about this being THE day of transformation, it was also the longest day, slated to go from 8:30am until 1am.  Do the math.  Still, I must get my workout in.  While in the hotel gym, I noticed a couple other guys that were also wearing their UPW bracelets. (When you registered, you were given a bracelet and lanyard that showed your seating area by color) Our conversation was short, but I made sure to mention how I was informed this was going to be a long one.  So fuel up!

I’m geared up and ready to go, you know, that extra hour of sleep really kicked things up a notch!  Truthfully, I was stoked about Tony being back today.  Like I mentioned earlier, Joseph is spectacular!  But I’m sure even he would admit, the energy when Tony is there, it’s like an amp that goes to 11.


However, if I was jazzed for the fact Tony was going to be there, surely some of the other 10,500 felt the same way.  So, I had to get my little ass moving!

Breakfast at the Cafe in the hotel right? WRONG.  Doesn’t open until 7.  And I needed to be on the road.  Whole Foods right? WRONG, they don’t open until 8!  SON OF A BITCH!

Well, goddamn it.

Fast Forward to today.  It’s been over a week and I can’t even look at a bag of salt and vinegar almonds.  Anyway, off to:


At this point, my comfort level with interacting with complete and total strangers is greater than talking to my family.  How so?  You start to think about how the outside world, your friends, your family, your co-workers, your clients, and how they going to judge you when you get back.

“How was your thing?”

“Did you drink the Kool-Aid?”

“Did you burn your feet?”

“You ‘re not going to be all positive and shit now, right?”

“You DO know Tony Robbins is a fraud?”

My mind was already worrying about something that may or may not happen?  Please refer back to the quote at the beginning of this post.  For some reason though, I had this feeling I was going to be treated like I just became a Scientologist!

Then my phone rang, it was my father.

My father and I have always had a very, tumultuous relationship.  I was predominantly raised by my maternal grandparents and was always a “momma’s boy”. My mom’s family has always been the ones I’ve loved the most and felt like I disappointed the greatest.  When I lost my grandparents within a year of each other, that is when my life sputtered out of control.  Throw in one of my best friends suicide, and well, you can see why I believed (past tense) back in my 20’s that I was justified in having a drug and alcohol dependency.

Back to my father, we actually enjoyed our conversation.  It was lighthearted and even though I sounded like a transvestite phone sex operator, he was so intrigued by what I was doing.  That was the moment I knew the day was going to be different.

I even told him I loved him.

When you get inside, they still don’t let you go to your section of choosing until a certain time. Meanwhile, people line up to ensure they get the seat they want.  While standing there, a very cute, young, Asian woman started chatting with me.  After a bit, we shared a little, not much, a little information about ourselves to each other.  For example:

Me: “I’m 38, you?”

Her: “I’m in my 30’s”

Oh was this little shit going to sit next to me. If not for the simple reason of seeing how much I could get out of her.  She felt like a challenge. S0, I asked if she would sit next to me and she obliged.  Off we went to spend the next, potentially 15 hours with each other.

Another aspect I’ve failed to mention up until now is the dancers.  Yes, the Fire Dancers.  At least that’s what I think they were called.  Their job is to come out and get you pumped up.  Remember the music that I described how God awful some of it was?  It’s Jock Jams.  Plain and simple, it’s Jock Jams and you fucking love it.  You’re doing the claps they are doing, the waves they are doing, the dance moves, and everything. 1996-2015 Keith wouldn’t speak to this guy.  Now I’m Superfly dancing to Britney and Pitbull.  I’m even shaking my ass like I’m the Hotstepper!


The young lady that I just met started to open up.  Many of you reading this don’t know me, I’m quite loquacious. Simply put, I talk A LOT and don’t shut the fuck up.  But now I’m listening.  I’m asking her more and more about her life and finding out she was a first generation Chinese American in her family. The more and more I found out, the more and more I realized how amazing some people are and how spectacular their journeys to this destination was.  For you see, it wasn’t just about seeing Tony Robbins, it was seeing how the people you were surrounded by had more in common with you emotionally than you thought.  We all get so consumed and/or overwhelmed by our emotions on a day to day basis thinking that no one understands us.  Just to find out, we’re not alone. We’re far from alone.

Joseph came out first. Initially, it was kind of a letdown, especially when you thought it was going to be Tony all day and night.  Whatever. A let down to this crowd would be the apex compared to A LOT of crowds that I’ve witnessed.   Nonetheless, the education began.  We learned that if you are going to have an Extraordinary Life, you must see what the 7 areas were and how you value each.  This is good for you that weren’t there, because take a moment to look and think about these:

In no particular order: 1)Physical Body. 2)Emotions and Meaning 3)Relationships 4)Time 5)Work/Career/Mission 6) Finances and 7) Celebrate/contribution, Spiritual Sense.

I know where I’m strong but where I want to be stronger.  Which means I fully understand my weaknesses.  The reason you do this, look at where you’re strong and  juxtapose what you do on a daily basis to make them so. Compare that to what you’re weak at. Be honest with yourself, it’s only you, to you, about you, you’re talking to.  I had to turn to my newfound, first generation, fine, female friend.

I joked earlier about how I would share lessons I learned and all you had to do was read this blog to discover them.  I had to turn to the person to my right, left, behind and in front,  a complete stranger, and tell them some things only my fucking therapist knows.  When you have a therapist, you are essentially their mafia boss and you’re paying them off to keep their lips zipped! But now, I’m turning to my right or left and saying my biggest fear, the one thing that frightens me to the point of nightmares and constant self-depreciation, is this and this is why.  You had to get over that shit quick.  Like Day 1, Hour 1.  However, the rabbit hole was going deeper.  Because…



Don’t ask me why, it just was, and it was fucking awesome!  I could show you a crystal clear video with flawless audio and it would still not even touch what it felt like in that place, at that moment in time.  And by the way, I believe I’ve gained some sort of credibility earlier about being at monumental events.


I have to add this in first.  Next to the adorable young woman to my left, (I had an aisle seat, remember this) there was a really big, like, looked like NYC mechanic named whose name could have been Lou and his Italian nephew who looked like a Michael.  Remember, “Hug 9 people”?  Well, there was something else you had to do. “Get in groups of 4 and massage the person in the middle”.  That didn’t happen initially.  “Lou” kept conveniently disappearing at those moments.  And at this point, I was okay with it. We will get back to this shortly. Oh and if you don’t like being touched. These events are NOT for you.  Or they could be a way for you to get over that shit!

He opened up with a lot of science about human chemistry and physiology. A theme throughout the weekend.   Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t rocket science, but it was very educating.  I’ve been reading his book, listening to his audio cd’s, and watched the documentary; I understood his language.  A good sum of it was redundant to me.

Then the children were taken out of the room.

For those that have never seen the documentary or much of anything about Tony Robbins, he curses like a drunk trucker at Mardi Gras.  I obviously was very fucking offended. He does acknowledge the children, though.  Saying they are going to hear things, but it is meant to shock.   Freud did it, so, you know.

“Don’t worry the kids are going into another room, we’ve got some great stuff for them to do.  We don’t want them seeing this because this may be very traumatic to them.”

What…the…fuck?  Was I scared when I heard this? You bet you’re fucking sweet ass I was.  And you would be too!  Keep in mind I already walked on fire and may be giving Lou a massage.  So, you know, everything is kinda on the table in this place.

But that is why I walked on fire.


We all know about Scrooge right?  Whether you’ve read the immortal classic “A Christmas Carol” or saw Bill Murray in “Scrooged”, you know the concept, right?  Past, Present, Future equals changed life. It was at the moment Scrooge sees his future, after examining his childhood and current state, that he ultimately realizes that  his life has to change.   Well, the next hour was spent writing down our 3 most limiting beliefs. The ones that hold us back, scare us.  And guys and gals, I’m not talking about being scared of fucking heights.  These are beliefs.

“I believe if I do this, that will happen”

And some of those are pretty damn debilitating, now aren’t they?  And I’m turning to my left to tell them to someone I met 3 hours ago.

After we wrote three and why, we wrote their complete antithesis.  Our most 3 empowering beliefs and why.

“If only I could do this, this would happen.”

Now that we got those on paper.  We were told that what we are about to do is associate so much pain to those three limiting beliefs, that we will never allow ourselves to feel the same way about them again.

Allow me to say this with the highest regard for our Military and those that Serve.  I am NOT comparing what we did with what they go through.  But the premise can be similar.
We were broken down and then built back up.  Reprogrammed.  And Tony Robbins is my leader.  I’m fucking with you. Just pay attention:

The room went dark and we were told to close our eyes.

“People are going to go through some very strong, intense emotions, don’t comfort them.  Let them suffer.”

Imagine the life that you have where you will never change, a life where you will always be limited by these beliefs, a life that is lived in fear.

Now imagine 5 years from now, feeling that exact same way. But worse.

A boy, I say boy because he just sounded so young to me.  This boy let out a horrific scream like he was being mutilated.  It scared the shit out of me.  Then I thought,

“Why aren’t I having that type of moment?”


“Imagine it’s 10 years.  Now, people are leaving you because of how you are. You’re all alone”

My knee fucking buckled. I dont know why, but it buckled.  I had to reach back for the arm of my seat. Oh God I couldn’t open my eyes because now…The sobs, the screams…it’s all you could hear and then someone screamed:


At 17 years old, I attempted suicide with my baby brother downstairs.  At 23 I was fully addicted to alcohol, I buried the two people that raised me and my penance for not telling them how much I loved them was feeling like I disappointed them for perpetuity. At 26 we buried my friend that shot himself in the head. The day before, he called and I didn’t answer because I was too hungover.

What I went through for 12 minutes on November 12th, 2016, was the worst moment of my life.  It felt like hell. It was hell…I couldn’t stand straight up. I tried, God knows I tried.  All you heard were people crying uncontrollably.

“Let out a sound that describes what that feels like”

I didn’t know our soul could scream.

“Imagine it’s  20 years”

If he were in front of me…I would have fallen to my knees and begged him to stop.

This is what pathetic feels like.

“Let out a sound that describes what THAT feels like”

I didn’t know the terrified child could scream.














This is was unstoppable feels like!

And like that, it turned into the most epic moment of my life.  That’s all you get.  My words will never accurately describe what happened after.  I will continue on with certain aspects, but you must feel it for yourself.  Do it for yourself.  Give yourself that gift.  For some, it will be the very first time you ever truly loved yourself.

And what a glorious feeling that is.

All I’m going to say what happened to me physically is this.  I had an aisle seat and had to reach back to make sure I didn’t fall down the stairs because of…I felt sick.  Violently sick. But this is aimed at those that were there, does anyone wish they had someone handing out a few tissues?  The amount of snot coming out of my nose.

And then we had to stick our fucking fingers up the damn thing. Do you honestly think something didn’t stick to it when I pulled it out?  All the while talking to the person to my left?

That was part of breaking the pattern.  We touched base with our inner child, and proved how foolish these beliefs were.  This was proceeded by replacing a lot of our past with our undetermined future.  Oh and what a future I now have waiting for me.

This was the last day with Tony and it was everything you could have prayed, hoped and dreamed of. He was humorous, educating, informative, passionate, honest, and loving.  If some how, some way he sees this.  Thank you.  It was an awful nice thing you did for us…me.

And we fucking rocked that place until 12am!!!

The next hour was for those that wished to sign up for the Mastery Program.  He came back on after 1am but I left at about 12:45.  I had just “exorcised the demons”, I was spent.

Life officially hit the reset button.

Christ, even Lou gave me a massage!

Nothing could touch me, right?


Fucking Uber…


For anyone looking for information about the event or anything to do with Tony Robbins, please call:  Angel McDonnell at 858-535-6287. Or email her at

Please be sure to  tell her that I sent you.

Thank you and be sure to subscribe to find out when my next blog is posted



Make Your Move and Shake Your Ass. My Four Days with Tony: Day 2, Put your books down, AND STAND UP!

Four hours!


Despite flying cross country, despite jumping for more than 10 hours straight, despite being up for 26 hours, despite WALKING ON HOT FUCKING COALS!  I only got 4 hours of sleep.  Keeping in mind that 6am PST is 9am EST and I haven’t slept that late since that time I ate a brownie and thought I was having a heart attack.

Wanna know why I only slept 4 hours?  Protein bars and salt and vinegar almonds.

You’re welcome.

Since I’m up, let’s go for a run. For you see, working out is a must for me and I know that.  Let me say that again, working out is a MUST for me and I know that.

From here moving forward I will pass along glorious nuggets of information that I learned for hopefully your benefit.  And think, all you had to do was read this.  All I had to do was, well you’ll see.

If you are going to make a lasting change in your life, you have to make whatever you want to accomplish a must.  I must look good naked so I must workout and eat well.  But, you also have to get leverage.  Like looking in the mirror and not loving what you see.  Fast forward, that’s not an issue anymore and I look fucking fantastic in the nude.

Let me tell a story that will further explain the concept of making lasting change by using leverage and must.  February of 2005, I was without question, a pile of shit.  I had a drinking problem of at least a 12 pack 5 days a week.  The only reason I didn’t drink the other two was the massive hangover from drinking an excessive amount of liquor.  Scotch and Amaretto, commonly known as a “Godfather” was my drink of choice. I was 26 years old.  I was smoking at least a pack a day, I had a cocaine habit that was putting me into massive debt, I was about to be dismissed from school, I had a total disconnect from my family, I had highly questionable “associates”, and more than anything, I stopped caring.  I loved absolutely nothing. I was numb.

But, I had a 1993 Cadillac El Dolrado.  God did I love it.  Loved it so much I never got the goddamn thing inspected.  It was one of the laziest things I’ve ever done.

And it saved my life.

Monday, February 7th was the day after the Patriots beat the Eagles in the Super Bowl.  I despised both teams (Giants fan), so that gave me, you know, a great reason to party uncontrollably that Super Bowl Sunday.  The next day,  Monday the 7th,  I found myself suffering from an alcohol and drug induced hangover for  3 out of the last 4 days.  I was slowly killing myself.  But,  I had to work that night and while driving in my oh so loved, illegal machine, I got pulled over.  I was being cited for not having an inspection sticker AND not having my seat belt on. Both illegal in the State of Vermont. The latter being a secondary offense, which just so happened to be the responsibility of the officer that pulled me over to enforce. Fucker.  Little did he know he helped save my life, and maybe others. THAT is a scary thought.  The officer said if I got my car inspected in the next week, that ticket would be torn up.  Still, I wonder if he gave me a breathalyzer, what would have happened?

I know what would have happened.

All I had to do was get my car inspected, right?  One hurdle, though, It wasn’t inspectable.  Unless I had $1500 to replace all the brake lines.  No way my drinking and drug habit could support that.   I was left scrambling.  Instead of being pragmatic, I was dramatic.


Don’t ask how I deduced that I couldn’t afford to get my brake lines fixed, or take my car to another garage in East Bumbfuck Vermont that would throw an inspection sticker on a 1962 Ford Truck.  Yet in my delusional mind,  I could somehow afford a newer vehicle.  By the way, my Cadillac payment, $130 a month.  My cable bill is more than that now, with internet.  I’m not a fool. At least not now.  My drinking and drugging cost more than that PER WEEK.  THAT is the mind of an addict.

Off I went to see one of many car salespeople I  knew.  Short story long, after trying to convince every bank imaginable that I would make my payment despite a God awful credit score. I was staring at the only thing I could get approved for, a 1999 Ford Explorer.  Dilemma, my payment was about to double.  How could I afford THAT? I had a $130 plus per week drinking and drug habit to support.

Simple, quit drinking and doing drugs.

That is honest to God the thought I had when believing that I MUST have a new vehicle and that the ONLY (leverage) way I could afford it was by sobering up.

That will be 12 years ago this upcoming February and I haven’t had a sip or sniff since.

I fucking did it!  And THAT’s how you make lasting change.  3 years after that, I quit smoking cigarettes.

You make it from a should to a must.  You get leverage.  You interrupt your pattern.  How did I do that?  I ate a shitload of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream.  I gained about 20lbs, but I  gained my life back! The last step is you create an Empowering Alternative and be sure to Celebrate it!  Every week sober, I would go buy a CD or a DVD.  Think about it, we’re still the child that would smile when they did something positive and got rewarded.  Find that reward and don’t allow yourself to have it unless you do it.  I get asked quite frequently how I was able to do it.  I would say things like: “I got sick and tired of being sick and tired”, “I couldn’t take it anymore”.  When in reality, it was fear of going broke because of a car that did it. Thanks to UPW, it finally became clear to me HOW I did it.  And speaking of the event

Now to:


Thank you, thank you, thank you Courtyard Marriott for having a cafe.

I don’t know if the egg white, spinach, and cheese muffin sandwich was the best I’ve ever had, but at the moment, it sure as shit was a contender!  Scored a big cup of fruit, grabbed my protein bars, almonds, and gum and headed to the SAP Center.

Going into day two you are made aware of something, Tony will NOT be there.  Tony was just yelling, chanting, screaming, speaking for 12 plus hours.  He’s been doing this for over 30 years, after a while your vocal chords can only take so much. Trust me, I was only there for one day and I already sounded like Harvey Fierstein.  For those that don’t know the name:

And yes, I posted a clip from Mrs. Doubtfire on purpose.  Robin…The magnificent Robin Williams was used as a tragic example of achievement without fulfillment.

Then we got to meet Joseph McClendon III.  Who looks just like Levar Burton.


He isn’t Tony Robbins, but no one really is.  Tony is 6’7, 285.   Kind of a unique.  However, if Tony Robbins is a professional football team, Joe McClendon is Alabama.  If Uncle Dave is reading this, he either just flipped his shit or smiled from ear to ear.

He crushed it. How did he crush it?  By telling us to “SHAKE OUR ASS”.  He trained us, almost Pavlovianesque, that when he told us to put our books down, which we of course did.  But when he told us to stand up, we not only stood up, we were to act as if we just won the fucking lottery.  Fascinating how great you feel when you stand up like that!  It’s that easy folks.  How easy? Stand up, shake your ass side to side or swivel your hips.  Do it!  How do you feel?  You’re welcome.

The day was exceptionally fun and deliciously informative.  Whether it was shaking our ass or learning about: Neuro Associative Conditioning, The Power of Beliefs, the aforementioned 3 Steps to Lasting Change, The Science of Momentum, The Core to Emotional Fitness and SO much more.  We’re there for 12 hours plus per day.  I hope you all realize that there is a chance I do leave stuff out.  Just wanted to state that.  You want to know what it’s truly like? Go!

I also sat with a group of Essential Oil providers. My goal was to sit somewhere different every day so I could meet new people.   Throughout the entire day they were just dabbing oil here, and dabbing oil there, it was quite fascinating.  Outstanding group of people that embraced me into their section like we’ve been friends for years.  I also sat in front of another wandering solo soul. She was from Edmonton and like I, both came to just go 100%, all in this weekend and see what happens.

On day 2, I also  met the person that helped make this all happen.  Angel was working the Mastery Booth.  Before I talk about this gift from God, I will say there was a lot of selling.  Now, this is the way I look at it.  At a concert, sporting, or wrestling event, they sell CD’s, DVD’s, t-shirts, and most importantly, beer.  At Tony Robbins, they sell you supplements, cd programs, and events.  Don’t get me wrong, the cost of goods is substantial, but so isn’t the reward. And there was  NO ALCOHOL!  Wasn’t needed.  Why?

You learn at your most receptive when your up, moving, breathing, having a fucking blast!  And that is exactly what they provided atmosphere-wise.  Seriously, I danced, clapped, jumped and screamed during songs that you couldn’t pay me to simply listen to.  You could even promise me an hour alone with Scarlett Johansson and I would of struggled listening to some of the Top 40 “songs” I heard over the course of the weekend.  But here I am, jumping, clapping and screaming like I’m the leader of their fan club!  If it sounds awesome, times it by 100!

Just when you think you can’t do anymore.  Your legs are tired, your hands hurt, your voice is gone…You find another level.  It’s pulled out of you.  My God, it’s just pulled out of you!

There is a method behind it.

When you are your most tired and doing something, this is when you respond and grow.  Think about a personal trainer while you workout.  You finish doing 10, he or she tells you to give them 4 more. There is NO WAY you can do 4 more, but you try and maybe get 2.  That is when you grow.  When you go beyond what you thought you could, you break through that imaginary brick ceiling.  This is when you start to thrive. This is when you begin the journey to arrive!

Meanwhile, I had to go meet a dear friend I have never met.

Angel is 4’11, rugby star, supermom, and woman that left a highly lucrative profession to be a part of something spectacular; the changing of lives.   Did I mention 4’11? Made me feel massive.  Truly another metaphor for this whole experience.  She was everything I thought she would be and a million times that.  If you want to be a truly amazing, meet the truly amazing and don’t let go of them, for you will learn so much.  You want to be a great business owner?  Talk to great business owners.  You want to live healthy and feel like your 25?  Hang out with someone that is 50 and feels that way!  Pick their brains. And when you do, for the love of God don’t sit there and say:

“Oh yeah, I know that”

I could kick a puppy (not literally) when I hear that.

“Oh you do huh?  How much do you weigh again and what’s for lunch? Oh that whole grocery bag full? Looks filling.”

I digress.

Point being, she’s exceptional and my life has grown and will continue to grow because of the dumb luck that I called and she answered.  Thank you for that, my friend.  It was a mighty kind thing you did for me.

However, one thing:

“Be sure to get rest, tomorrow is transformation day!”

Pretty sure she Facebook messaged me, text me, and then spoke those words to me face to face over the course of that entire day.  That left me with one question:



What the hell was going to happen to me on Day 3?


For anyone looking for information about the event or anything to do with Tony Robbins, please call:  Angel McDonnell at 858-535-6287. Or email her at

Please be sure to  tell her that I sent you.

Thank you and be sure to subscribe to find out when my next blog is posted.





Make Your Move and Shake That Ass. My Four Days With Tony: Day One, Firewalkers


November 8th, the people that were angry and afraid took to the polls.

November 9th, the people that were angry and afraid took to social media.

November 10th, my anger, and my fear put me on a plane to San Jose.

Of course only after getting to bed the night before at 3:30Am. I’ll let you figure out why.   (Hint, the answer is in the next picture.)

It kicked off at 3:00 AM starting a 26 hour day that included a cross-country flight, a diet of protein bars, salt and vinegar almonds and Dentyne gum.  The mint melon is delicious. I actually woke up at 3:19, I can’t figure out my alarm.

Whether I was in Albany, Chicago, or ultimately San Jose, the air was filled with uncertainty.  If you’re wondering why, because this happened.


It was going to be a long day.  The event kicked off at 12pm PST and was scheduled to go until 1AM  with the infamous “Firewalk” being the closer.  I anticipated getting to bed by 2:30am PST, which would have made it 5:30 EST.  Making this a glorious 26 hour and 11 minute day.  Goddamn alarm.  My Carhartt backpack, so graciously given to me by the proprietor of the Safety Wearhouse in South Glens Falls.  The Safety Wearhouse, Fashion with Function; was filled with my supplies for the weekend:Team Beachbody Engergize supplement, my Green Drink for Alkalinity, protein bars and Salt and Vinegar almonds for the event. Plus a lot of gum. A LOT of gum.  During my 4 plus hour flight from Chicago to San Jose, I decided to knock back a serving of Energize. Energize by the way is like Predator blood bright in color.



Imagine me trying to scoop out of a plastic bag this bright neon powder while wearing a black fleece sitting in the far from roomy Southwest 737 airline seat.  People were looking at me like I had anthrax.  If they weren’t they should have been.  The girl next to me knew right away what it was.  Next thing you know I’m sharing the rest of my flight next to an amazing Team Beachbody Coach, Super Nurse, and superb mother of two from Ohio. (Nurse at Ohio State University).  And guess where she was going?  That’s right, Chico!

(Inside joke.  When I was 18, Hippie Keith took a bus from Vermont to Chico because someone said it was awesome there. So there I was, 18, covered in hair and hemp with nothing but a bag of clothes, my djembe drum, and $1700 strapped to my belly.  And when I got there, I spent 3 months wondering why the hell was I in Chico, California before I eventually flew back)

For the next 3 hours, we shared personal story after personal story.  At one moment we even laughed acknowledging that we were sort of “pre-gaming” the event.  Both of us were childlike in our eagerness to see what awaited.

After wishing each other nothing but exactly what they needed, we set off in separate directions to the same destination.

This is part of the story where I could EASILY rip into the Courtyard Marriot for not providing me my shuttle I ordered the day before.  Or the fact that Uber is the definition of hit or miss.  Fortunately,  I met some great people through Uber and the Courtyard Marriot paid for a taxi. Life could have been worse.  For you see, anger was not allowed as an emotion to dominate this voyage.  As we all can attest, isn’t always the case when one is traveling. But this had to be different.  It needed to be different.

Prior to making the decision to go, I checked on hotel rooms to see if I could get a place to stay the night before.  This would have eliminated not only the aforementioned 26 hour day, but I could have also registered.  Not happening, my hotel was booked solid.  This kind of became a hemorrhoid.  Not literally.   The line to get into the building  was about 2 football fields long. Not all that bad, right?  Well, guess what was waiting for me once I finally entered my new home for the next 4 days?   Another line that went around, down, back up, and around the other half of the SAP Center.   If you want a complete architectural description , I’m clearly your guy.   Nonetheless, you just kept meeting fascinating people! Without any idea that this was just a sign of things to come.  And for those that truly know me, how long do you think it took before I not only introduced myself, but bragged about being on a cross-country flight since 5am EST?  If you said anything more than 30 seconds, we’re obviously not close.

Once registered I turned out to be the last person in the entire registration line to receive the Tony Robbins best-seller: “MONEY” Master the Game.  No joke, there had to be at least a couple hundred behind me.  Everything was now coming up Keithy!

I’m not an idiot, you more than likely started reading this just to find out what the hell a Tony Robbins “seminar” is like.  So finally, here you go.  You’re welcome.

What is a Tony Robbins event like?

A lecture mixed with a rave mixed with a Phish show mixed with a rock concert mixed with a Gospel Reading (not literally) mixed with a stand-up comedy routine mixed with sporting event mixed with a TED Talk mixed with group meditation mixed with AA meeting mixed with..  And  I ran out of adjectives.  This is not hyperbole.

The presence, the energy, the crowds reaction to Tony Robbins is unparalleled.  He has this charm to him that completely makes you want to listen to every syllable that comes out of his mouth.  He’s knowledgable, comedic, and more than anything, authentic.  It’s impossible to not love him.

The room had to be sub 55 degrees.  And I get that an NHL hockey team plays there (San Jose Sharks) but that’s not the reason.  High energy is crucial.  How do you keep high energy? Keep the room frigidly cold,  feed them info for 45 minutes and then feed them fun for 15.  Sometimes the fun outlasted the info.  Afterwards you have to give a complete stranger a hug, then another, then another, then another, and then another.  At one point it was 9 hugs and then you could sit down.  It didn’t hurt that I had a blue eyed Kim Kardashian to my right.  And I’m pretty sure the son of Jon Hein to my left.  Guess which one I had to hug first.


He was a sweet kid, that was dealing with a massive trauma in his life.  I will consistently make jokes about those I was with or near, but they were some amazing people just looking for change.  Looking for hope.  Looking to be loved by themselves.

This was unlike ANYTHING I have ever experienced and I’ve: eaten acid at Phish,  seen the NY Giants win a playoff football game on a Super Bowl run, eaten mushrooms at Phish, been to  Cirque Du Soleil in Las Vegas, lost my hearing at a Justin Timberlake, saw a kid get rifled in a mosh pit at Disturbed and Korn, seen the Mets Vs. Yankees with Matt Harvey on the mound,  I’ve even seen Michael Jordan play.  For Christ’s sake, I’ve even been to Wrestlemania where Salt N Pepa played “Whatta Man” and Lawrence Taylor was the Main Event vs. Bam Bam Bigelow.


I watched as people were asked in the audience in what is called an “intervention”, what holds them back in life?  Two people stood out. A man that was hunched over thinking he would never be enough.  By the end of it, he was walking like his cock was a foot long.  Another was a woman that lost her child during labor.  This was tough.  By the end of it, she realized there ARE options.  Tony has multiple children from his previous marriage that were not his biological children.  He made the point of saying, “Do you think I don’t love them like they ARE my own?  I adore them!”  Not only did this resonate, but what really got the both of them and us, was when Tony asked the audience if anyone has felt or gone through what not only she, but the previous man had gone through?  A massive amount of people raised their hands.  It really started to sink in, we’re not alone here.  We’re among friends.

Unleash the Power Within  was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.  The greatest thing I’ve ever been a part of. The greatest decision of my life.  And it wasn’t even 3 hours old!

Opening night consisted of telling secrets to complete strangers, yelling so much I lost my voice, jumping up and down for 10 minutes…5 minutes…2 minutes…30 seconds…10 seconds  straight  for 10 hours.  Clapping until my hands hurt, hugging, high fiving, crying and laughing hysterically.  Even  Pitbull showed up and played.  I wasn’t necessarily a fan of “Mr. Worldwide.” But, fast forward to today and I’ve downloaded this song and  can’t help by smile and move when I hear it:


All of this was leading up to the 1000lb elephant in the room, we were going to walk on fire!

To say the crowd of 10,500 thinned out as we were leading up to it would be like saying that Donald Trump winning the election was a pleasant surprise.  The majority remained, though.  After being prepped, meditating, tricks to change our mental state, and taught how to walk across the coals (power walk).  We took off our shoes and socks and walked to the parking lot at 1am clapping our hands and chanting, “Yes, Yes, YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!”  Say that aloud and anyone within ear shot is thinking you’re…you know…

Once this mass of positive energy made it’s way to the SAP parking lot, we were greeted by loud African drum beats  (Hippie Keith was elated) and 35 rows of hot coals.


That is what ingrained into our heads prior to the walk.  Also mentioned were those that got burned while trying to take selfies in Texas.  Oh, plus the fact that the reason why we had to wipe our feet before they washed them off was because we could get hot coal in our toes.  You could literally hear air being sucked out of the arena when he mentioned that little nugget.  Which was of course followed by, “Oh you guys didn’t think of that huh?”  We were told absolutely not to run.  Why? Imagine tripping.  That’s how you get a souvenir.  About those who got hurt in Texas, the way they set it up, you have to be a special type of stupid to get severely burned.  Truthfully, I wasn’t scared, not even nervous, just excited about experiencing something truly unique.  Even though I’m pretty sure on more than one occasion while black out drunk I walked across a campfire.  Yeah, I’m almost positive.  Yeah, I’m positive.  So this wasn’t shit.  Put it up 150 feet in the air, now I’m a little nervous.  Keeping my short ass on the ground, no worries whatsoever.

Here is what the firewalk consisted of.

You are a mass of people trying to figure out where to go by following the crowd and smoke.  Once there, you start hearing people cheering like they just scored the game-winning touchdown.  The crowd gets thinner, and thinner, and thinner as they are breaking off into lines.  All the while people are clapping chanting “Yes, Yes, YES!” African drums are just blaring.  Felt very tribal!  I’m basing this off of all my experiences with tribes.  I have however been to a “Bread And Puppet” where a drum circle lasted until 6am.  On acid. Anywho,  when there you are instantly 3rd in line.


I don’t know why we chant cold moss.  And we were told to look up because if you look down, you may realize that you’re walking on hot fucking coals.

You step up and you’re now second in line. You notice you just stepped into a puddle of water.  It’s dark and everyone seems to be wearing black, so you’re hoping someone didn’t piss and this is what you’re currently standing in so you’re hoping it’s water.  Before that pleasant thought sinks in, you see the person in front of you finish and at that moment a woman calls you up and you are now on grass.  She yells with a huge smile on her face,

“You got this, you ready? DO YOUR MOVE!”

You make this chest thump like “FUCK YES LET’S DO THIS!  ROAR!” (I didn’t say roar, nor did I roar, I’m just giving you internal dialogue)

Say yes she yells: “YES!” I instantly respond.

Say yes she yells again: “YES!” I let out in a primal scream!

She yells, “LOOK UP!” You do!

“GO” and you go and people are just yelling at you:




I truthfully don’t even know if I said cold moss once. Because the next thing you know I’m on grass having my feet bathed in hose water and trying to remember what the fuck to do.  Oh yeah, my toes, wipe my feet.  Have I mentioned that this is now 25 hours since I woke up?  Oh and all that is in me are protein bars and salt and vinegar almonds. Yeah, I kinda had to take a shit. Which isn’t a big deal when you’re walking across hot fucking coals!

And the last thing you do? celebrate!

Holy shit! I did it, my God, I did it!  Not shit, the walking on coals part.

The whole experience of walking on coals was a complete metaphor.  If you can do this, you can do anything.  Which was glorious, because now I had to deal with Uber!

Day 2 was slated to begin at 9:30am and my head finally hit the pillow at about 2am.  I’m ahead of the game!  I just needed sleep.

For day two, we were going to be introduced to someone new and this is when I found out that this was nothing.

All we were doing was preparing for day 3!


For anyone looking for information about the event or anything to do with Tony Robbins, please call:  Angel McDonnell at 858-535-6287. Or email her at

Please be sure to  tell her that I sent you.

Thank you and be sure to subscribe to find out when my next blog is posted.  


Make Your Move and Shake Your Ass: My Four Days with Tony: The Beginning

AUTHORS NOTE:  This was going to be one really long blog post.  Then when I got to 2000 words  and realized I was 1/3rd the way through, the consensus was to make this a series.  I mean people struggle to read 140 letters these days! And before my story begins; yes, I’m fully aware that my title sounds like a God awful softcore porn on Showtime at, like, 3:15 AM.

Now that we’ve got that established.

Coincidence may be one of, if not the most peculiar aspects of life.  Some don’t believe it exists. They believe in God, but not in coincidence or Climate Change.  I believe in God, Climate Change is a fact and coincidence does happen.  Take early August 2016.

The series of events in chronological order:

  1. My therapist and I started talking about my childhood.  Yes, I see a therapist, but only once a month, so that means I’m only 1/12th crazy. (I’m not strong in math)
  2. I went on a date with a”Life Coach” that not only specialized in child psychology, but I’m pretty sure she specialized at sucking at life.  If she reads this, you were as hot of a mess as a dumpster behind a daycare in Texas.
  3. And lastly, I watched the documentary “I Am Not Your Guru”.

What you must understand though, when my therapist and I were starting to bring up my childhood, or lack thereof depending on who you ask. I was asking my therapist and she was saying lack thereof; It brought up wounds that I had no idea still existed.  What I thought was common, she told me was anything but.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve recently come across people whose traumatic tales of their childhood that would make Hitler and Bin Laden cry; So I didn’t really see anything atrocious about mine.  However, the subject matter brought an extraordinary amount of buried bodies to the surface.

Dinner with the “coach” was shortly thereafter.  She possessed kind eyes, unbelievable passion, and a sympathetic heart.  She is actually a published author for a widely popular self-help publisher.  One that I had no idea existed, not to mention the concept of self-help” had always seemed, well, cultish to me. It didn’t help that she reminded me of the kindergarten teacher from Billy Madison.


What she also possessed was a degree in Child Psychology.  So when I said one thing, she would ask, “what was your relationship with food as a child?”  Here I am thinking, “how did she know I was a fat kid growing up??? I must say that I was also pretty desperate at the time.  I was totally the 20 car pile up to her dumpster fire.  She could have ordered a glass of water at dinner and I would have been, “OH MY GOD, you drink water too!  We have so much in common!”  Needless to say, we didn’t make it past date one.

And then I watched a goddamn documentary.

The Netflix documentary  “I Am Not Your Guru”  is about the 6-day event called “Date with Destiny”.  For 6 days, people pay at minimum $5000 to have their lives examined and changed like they’ve never had before.  My reaction to the first scene:  “HOLY SHIT!  I’m there!” All the while being blown away by the fact that this was the same big tooth Tony Robbins I saw 13 years prior on those informercials telling me how I could be a millionaire and thin.   They really stood out because I saw them primarily  late at night while I was piss the bed drunk trying to, well, “entertain myself” to a “Girls Gone Wild” commercial.  Don’t act like you haven’t been there! And if you had, you know it ain’t that easy  so give me some credit for the effort!

Fast forward 13 years later and I’m not necessarily crying, my living room  just so happened to be really filled with pollen when I was watching him talk to a suicidal man in red shoes.  It was the rawest of emotions.  I’m fascinated by human emotion and especially those that can manipulate them.  All I knew, this is something different.  Different is interesting.  Different is fun!

And when was the last time I did something truly fun?

Problem: FIVE FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS! And that’s just for the ticket to the event!   This didn’t include flight or hotel, or food, or transportation.  My wedding reception was slightly over $5,000, and we saw how that ended.


That’s when I started to research.  Let me say, if I’d researched this hard in high school or the first time I went to college, I’d be Dr. Hannigan.  But it paid off.

Unleash the Power Within is a 4-day event that was happening in San Jose California in November.  To get in, it was about $625.  There were tickets for much more, but just to get in  was $4k less. So unless you get lost crossing the street, you can see this was becoming more and more feasible.  After looking into flights and a hotel, all in, $1600.  Now we’re dancing. However, two months prior I graduated from college at the age of 37 where I got to live out my lifelong dream of writing and directing a movie.  Oh look, here it is!


Point being, I now I had a mountain of student debt at the aforementioned age of 37.  How the hell was I going to justify spending $1600 on a goddamn motivational speaking seminar that may or may not work? All the while the cloud of paying this shit off at the age of 60 was hovering over.

Then God sent me an angel.  Her name is literally Angel.

I called the Robbins Institute to discuss whether I should or shouldn’t do this.  You know, because when we all make a substantial purchase the best person to call is someone that works there and ask, “Hey, should I spend money with the company that pays you?”  To my pleasant surprise,  this sweet sounding woman answered the phone.  I say pleasant surprise because I had no idea what to expect.  Was I expecting a character from the movie “Boiler Room” and then here them yell “Greco” when I showed interest?  Was I expecting a woman that sounded like she smoked a pack of Marlboro Red 1000’s since 13? I had no idea.   What I did get though was an exquisite woman that I will tell you more about later. After I asked that absurd question, she said exactly what I needed to hear. Truth be told, it didn’t take much convincing. She just simply said precisely the right thing.  Like standing at the edge of the cliff on a beautiful island with crystal blue waters awaiting my  body below. I didn’t need a push to dive, I just needed a whisper in my ear saying, “do it.”  And I dove.   She even hooked me up with a deal after I gave her my sob story.  God is she magnificent.  Just like that the ball was in motion.  Hopped online to book my flight and hotel and  here we motherfucking go!!!  I’m going to San Jose for a Tony Robbins event!

Even more beautiful, alright, not even, but pretty sweet was all the freebies. I love free stuff.  I know, I know, I’m a Patriarch.  Anyway,  first thing, I got to choose from a list of “Anthony Robbins” audio programs as a free trial.  Typically it’s only 30 days until you have to return them.  My Angel gave me 60.  I have to do a quick check,  do I sound like Corey Feldman when I say “my Angel”?


Please, sweet, vanilla smelling, Christmas baby Jesus I hope not. I’ll stop.  Anway, I of course chose the longest program I could.  Hey, I got two months with them and three months to kill, so what the hell else was I going to do? Work? My boss doesn’t have Facebook or Twitter, so you know.  His wife does though.  She won’t read it.  Unless you are right now.  If you are, hi, thanks for reading, and you could do so much better than him.

So,   I chose “Ultimate Edge”.  Yes, because it just sounded so very bad ass.  And I listened.  And I did the exercises, well 99% of them at least.  For those that have never heard any of his audio programs, you can easily give them a shot on Youtube.  There is content that is truly spectacular.  But just listening to a series of CD’s was not going to help me get to where I needed to be.  For you see, I had no idea where I needed to go.

Another bonus was a free coaching session.  If you’ve never spoken to a “life coach”, dumpster fires aside, it’s pretty intense.  A therapist, for those of you that have yet to experience one, which means you need one; you talk  98% of the session, they ask you why you feel that way, you try to figure it out, and then at the end they give their two cents and then ask when you want to schedule your next appointment.  I love my therapist, but it’s like “Who’s the Boss” and waiting for Tony and Angela to bang!  I mean come on already, he’s Tony fucking Danza! Moral of the story, the process is quite arduous.  With a coach, especially one as highly trained as one from TR, the conversation went like:

Coach: What’s the problem?

Me: I struggle with blah blah blah and my divorce did nothing but reinforce it since she told me blah blah blah.  On top of doing blah blah blah I blah blah blah.

Coach: Oh poor you, you allowed this woman to make you feel this way.  So you’re telling me you aren’t strong enough to feel for yourself. You allow others to be the determining factor of  how YOU feel about YOUR life?  How about this, we look into actually getting you a pair of testicles and then we go from there.


HOWEVER, I’m not going to post a pic or video of someone shitting their pants like I did when she then, of course, tried to sell me on paying for an annual coaching contract.  Not cheap. And I think we already established that I owe a couple dollars to student debt.  Primarily due to the fact I kept taking refund checks and using them for blow and booze. So I got a great education on how to totally piss away money! Literally.


Nonetheless, my hairy ass was getting on a plane to San Jose on November 10th.

But first came November 8th.


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